For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
