my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
