I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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