found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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