i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize