K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize