Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
