hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
