R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize