You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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