I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
