"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
