Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
