i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
