Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Randomize
