you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
