At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just had sex on a roof
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
