She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize