sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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