It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
