Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
