hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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