I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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