kristin has been a bad kristin
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
