I cockslap morals
Can Purell be used as lube?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
