then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
3 2 1 whiskey
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
