should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
