I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
