I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
