Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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