:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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