umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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