It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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