So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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