i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
