My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
