take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
