Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
