my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
