this beer tastes like vomit already
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
