East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize