return my video game
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
