Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
