i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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