the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
