I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize