Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
