ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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