ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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