My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
