Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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