i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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