All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
and she was petting her beer can
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
