You're completely useless in the revolution.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
