i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize