Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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