if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
