my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
