Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
