I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
it hurts more in the daytime
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
not ubering you a puppy
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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