We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
